Fatigue. Progression. Timing. Disappointment.

Fatigue. I slept from 7:15 last night until 7:15 this morning. That is twelve full hours of sleep! Glorious! To underscore the nature of my fatigue, I share this: I had grabbed a hand-full of chocolate chips on my way upstairs and set them on my night stand to nibble on while I did my pre-bedtime reading. I woke up and they were still there; I was too tired to eat chocolate.

Progression. I have some really exciting things going on this week that mark a new chapter in my life. I love new beginnings. (I get a high off beginning a new journal just for the novelty of starting something fresh.) And I feel anxious to share my serendipity. It's funny how there are some people that you just feel apt to share with. The presence or absence of this is a great measuring stick in relationships. I know it's good when I want to call and share almost everything with a person. It's a red flag when I feel protective and uncomfortable (or just don't care) to share things close to my heart with someone. Unfortunately, the usual people I go to with news in this vein are no longer available to me and I guess that's what I get for making closest friends with guys who must eventually move on to forming a closer relationship with some other girl and close the door to me. In the last four months, I've had a significant turn over in associates. But I know with this the door is opened for me to form closer associations that will yield the kind of relationship I need. And actually, I'm really impressed with myself for so successfully closing these doors (or allowing them to close.) When I spend time with other single adults and watch behaviors that I loathe, I'm even more grateful for my own maturity in this respect. I've thought about dedicating a post specifically to this: The Seven Sins of Single-Adulthood. But I digress...

Timing. Sometimes I imagine myself as a silent witness to the daily motions and events of my life. The timing. Timing. Timing. Timing. It's so amazing. I love to be aware of God's hand in my life by witnessing the timing cues he gives to significant (and even insignificant) happenings. Not too soon. Not too late. Just on time. It's like watching a high flying acrobatic show: 'Who will be there to catch her... Oh, there. He will. Wait! Where will he land... Oh, there's a spot.' Everything is provided for in the instant it is needed when at times it looks like catastrophe is seconds away.

Disappointment. I've developed a magnificent response to disappointment. There was a time that I let disappointments throw me into fits of insecurity, fear, and hopelessness. But I feel like I swallow disappointment with unerring calm these days. I'll feel the sting and keep breathing; Just wait. I remind myself of the most important things I know and turn away thoughts that would harm the inner calm. In almost no time, I feel peace settle in and then the peace develops into lively hope and excitement. Which, obviously, is a gift of the Spirit. Just thought I'd let everyone know I'm healthy. Hahahaha... oookay, that's enough for now.