I don't know what to blog about right now, but I know I want to blog.I know, I'm turning 27 in a month and it's got me feeling quasi panicked. 27! I'm so old and soooo unmarried. Boo. And I'm the only person to blame for it. I wonder if it's more comforting to be able to shrug your shoulders at this point and say, "No one has ever wanted me. I did not choose this." Rather than have a history of one or two broken engagements or what not. Hard to say, I guess.
Additionally, I had a very vivid dream yesterday while taking my Sunday nap that I was pregnant and had a baby. It wasn't until after I had the baby and was holding her in my arms that I started to wonder, "Hey, who is the father of this?!" I knew that if I had a baby that meant I had... well, not behaved. But I had no memory of it. So, I took a long look at the baby and tried to decide which of the guys I've dated it looked the most like. Hahaha! She was beautiful! And ever since that dream I've felt a greater measure of loneliness.
Part of this panic stems from a glimpse of an email I saw in my brother, Tim's, inbox. It was an invitation to an activity for "Mid-Singles; ages 27 to 40." I was horrified that I'm now going to be in the bracket with 40 year olds, that 40 year olds are who my church leaders are now directing me toward to date. Where went my youth? Living with my mom and working part-time at the mall exasperates this blow.
It wasn't post to be this way. Shoulda been my haybail.
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