Absent

You may or may have not noticed that it has been almost 6 weeks since my last post. This is a victory! Not because I'm addicted to blogging; I'm certainly not. But it means I have been super busy doing something else... MY HOMEWORK! Not that I didn't do my homework before. But I am so ON this quarter and I'm not behind at all with only five weeks left! And this is how I feel:

Empowered. Doing so much shows me how much I can actually do. You never know your ability until your pushed to your extremity. Each quarter I take a special design class that progressively gets more challenging. All other classes bow to this class because the work load is insane. In four weeks, I had to design a 36 piece collection. And I did it. It's funny imagining how assignments from previous design classes felt difficult. Kinderspiele. As of tonight, I've officially started designing my final collection for the class. Wish me luck.
SSRI Hungry. Okay, the anxiety has returned. I was anxiety free for only two short months: January and February. But it's been a battle since early March. Boo. I'm considering becoming medicated again but will probably think about it for another couple of weeks and hope this subsides. After all, my anxiety though strongly present hasn't been debilitating. Funny story though: with anxiety, I am especially sensitive to violent films. I could hardly stay in the theater for Angels and Demons. Last night I thought it would be a good idea to watch Empire of the Sun (with my man, Christian Bale, making his debut). BAD IDEA. I was awakened by the sound of my own screaming at 5am because I was dreaming the Japanese had invaded my house and were going to kill me.
Apathetic (in a good way). I don't care about disappointing my manager at work anymore. I've concluded that no matter how much I give, I will always be left feeling guilty that I can't give more so I've stopped trying to please her. She has made me aware of the fact that she's looking for my replacement but I think I would be relieved if I got fired... recession on and all. Let me have it. I'll find sugar. (<-- my foolish pride) Tired. You all feel me on this.
Determined. Yes, I am determined to never go back to school. This is it. I've had it. I want to sleep. "I want to live again. I want to live again." -George Bailey

Yes, I'm alive and well. Excited for two of my siblings who have both recently become engaged. Tim is marrying Meagan Sorensen July 17th and Katie is marrying Dave Carlile August 15th. As for me, no wedding plans are eminent. My mom made a preemptive threat with my life against making marriage plans for this summer. Like that would stop me. But it's fine. I'll carry the torch of singlehood alone for now. Tim is 31 and Katie is pushing 30. Please. Get married. Hahaha! Love you guys.