I pulled a paper out of a hat and moved to Texas. I knew almost no one there but it was exciting to start fresh (even if it was heartbreak that catalyzed the change.) I didn't imagine how hard it would be. Of course I got lonely and ached for family. Sometimes I would feel regret and sometimes I would feel abandoned. But the biggest burden that was most commonly the cause of my tears was having to depend solely on myself to be taken care of. I never expected that.
It wasn't so much financial shock. It was giving up common services from family and friends that I was used to having guilt-free access to. Dealing with car break downs, personal meltdowns, and boredom were things I had to resolve on my own.
My epiphany: There is nothing more ensuing of peace than to be and know you are taken care of.
Why does being a Mormon give so much peace to me? Because Christ organized and prepared a way for me to be taken care of in all my needs. Specifically:
-PRIESTHOOD. President Lockhart and Bishop Pomeroy. I've received inspired and pivitol counsel from these men over the years. This has been especially meaningful since inspired counsel from a respected, male figure has not been readily accessible in my home. My Capital Ward home teacher, Jared Burgoon. Even if he wears cut-off jeans, I love him. He played an important role in my life during a tumultuous transition, always helping me see the very best of myself.
-CHURCH WELFARE. I know when it comes down to it, I'll never starve or be homeless.
-RELIEF SOCIETY. Visiting teaching. I will always have female friends who strengthen me and in whom I find commonality. This is something that I didn't appreciate until I moved to Texas (and started working at Austin Retina Associates, one of the worst experiences of my life.)
-PROPHETS, SEERS, and REVELATORS. Thomas S. Monson, Henry B. Eyring, and Dieter F Uchtdorf. They fight my battle before I think to do so (i.e. proposition 8). To have such honorable men who constantly pray on my behalf and sacrifie their lives to serve me. Gordon B. Hinckley and the temples he built. Newport temple is so close to me.
-FAMILY HOME EVENING AND ENRICHMENT. I'll never be without friends or opportunities to have social interactions.
4 comments:
These are great thoughts.
I've been thinking about similar things today. It's funny how reflective I've been feeling lately. It's nice to feel content. So nice.
I also have that quote that you have on the top of your blog written down in my own little quote book.
ok, you moved the TX??? where in TX did you go? ok char, you are one brave soul. you know you can always move to az by me and we can be besties!! hope all is well and you should be a writer, really, i swear everytime i read something of yours i really ponder about it and that makes for good writing! love ya!
Lacey
you moved to TEXAS???!! Why didn't you tell me??! I hope you didn't drive through Page and not visit. My parents still remember you and want you to come visit.
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